So the other Bethism that my wife likes to periodically repeat occurs in the kitchen and usually involves the use of her KitchenAid mixer.
Long ago, we not only bought one of these fine machines but also purchased the “splash guards” that fit the top of its mixing bowl. They’re apparently handy for preventing ingredients from flying up out of the bowl and attaching themselves to your face, hair, clothing and any objects in the immediate vicinity. We wouldn’t know, though, because all they have done in our family is sit around and collect dust. Whenever either one of us grabs the mixer, we always set the guards aside, figuring we really aren’t going to need them. After all, what could possibly happen?
Enter my wife, stage right.
She is very good at what she does in the kitchen! She had a great teacher in her mother as my wife grew up, and she has learned many tricks of the trade over the years that we’ve been married. But whenever I know she is going to do something that involves the mixer, my antennae is up, alert to any peculiar sounds emanating from either her or her equipment as she works her mojo in her kitchen.
The most recent event occurred about a year and a half ago, probably involving Christmas cookies. I was in the other room and heard a whoop from the kitchen. I had a feeling that I knew what had just happened as I made my way to her domain with phone camera in hand. Sure enough, I entered the kitchen to see her standing in front of the mixer with flour and miscellaneous ingredients all over her front. I found out from her that she dropped one of the attachments in the bowl as it was running (I later realized that I never thought to find out why or how this happend). I looked down on the floor and there’s dough and flour splayed out in a perfect “V”, an arm of it spread out on either side of where she was standing. Then I looked up. The same V-shaped splay of dough and flour was cast acrossed the ceiling, the dough hanging in suspended strings of floury goodness as it spread out from the location of the mixer. It was a masterful display of Bethism finesse and prowess if ever I saw it! So I promptly took pictures and video to record this, her most daring and artistic Bethism to date.
(I still have the pictures and videos of these events for promotional purposes. They are not for public use as of this juncture, but for a fee, I could let you “borrow” them….)