Our society is really screwed up. Now more than ever, you can look all around you and find men who don’t know what it means to really be a man. The thing is, these men shouldn’t shoulder the entire blame for this because, at least to a degree, our society has made them that way.
“How’s that??”, you may ask. In all honesty, some of the blame comes from women who insisted that they could do everything a man could do. While that is mostly true (simply meaning that the strength equation plays an important factor here) and not much is said anymore about the feminist movement, the insisting of the feminist movement that men have held women back long enough and need to step aside and let women be all that they can be has resulted in many men feeling emasculated as they watch the role God created just for them–that of being a King, a Warrior, a Mentor and a Friend** to his wife, his kids and others–become something that is now considered to be taboo. Now, I realize that for a long time women and their accepted role in society were pigeon-holed into that of being “Suzie Homemaker” and nothing else, which wasn’t right. But the pendulum so drastically swung the other way that it caused a whole new set of problems that we are still facing today.
The other direction the blame should come from is that of fathers who abandoned their role and left sons to figure life out on their own (or learn it as best they can from their mothers). With no real-life male role models to be with and aspire to, all those messed-up boys have grown up into messed-up men. Strong words, but look around you. The condition of our families in this nation proves how true this has become and how desperate we are to have men become the men God originally created them to be.
One thing is certain: Deep down inside the heart of every man is the God-given need to be one. “You can take the boy out of the fight, but you can’t take the fight out of the boy.” Why do you think that Moms try to “raise their boy right” by refusing to buy him a toy gun (trying to keep the suggestion of violence at bay as much as possible), only to find that he insists on using a stick or his finger-and-thumb as a gun and has just as much fun? In his mind, he’s just as much a hero saving his world as he would be any other way with any other “weapon” in his hand. It’s hard-wired into who we are as men: A family to lead; a family to protect; a family to lead by example; and a family to be real and vulnerable with.
Food for thought.
**You can learn more about these four pillars of a man’s heart in Stu Weber’s book “Tender Warrior”.