It was Spring of my third grade year.
There I was, a shy kid in the second year of being in my new school. And suddenly I find myself elected to be a cloud on a stage with three other kids (another boy and two girls–even scarier for a 9-year-old boy who finds girls to be intimidating).
I think the play was about Spring–maybe the different seasons–I don’t remember exactly, because all I cared about was the fact that the four of us had to carry a cloud (painted cardboard or something along those lines with a handle on the back of it) and do some sort of choreography to The Beatles’ song, “Here Comes The Sun”.
Remember that song? A rather pleasant one, as far as I know. I haven’t paid attention to the lyrics to know for sure what it’s about. Could be nothing more than the sun coming out after a good rain. I don’t know and I don’t care. I haven’t liked that song since this, “The Play of ’79”.
You’re probably asking yourself, “Why the animosity towards such a nice song as ‘Here Comes The Sun’?” I caution you: if you like this song, don’t read any further. It may cause you to never hear it the same way again.
I’m sure that every kid has at some point in their early grade school years been subject to other kids using bad language around them. I was no different. I never used bad language and I didn’t grow up in a household where it was regularly used either. So where exactly this came from, I don’t know, but I can only assume that I have fellow classmates to thank for it. (Just a disclaimer: You aren’t going to actually see any bad language in this post, although you will be able to put two-and-two together….)
So get the song in your head. If you haven’t heard it, go find it off YouTube or somewhere and pay special attention to the chorus. Got it? Ok….The words to the chorus….
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say it’s alright
(….Sigh….) After that first line of the chorus, there’s a little musical ditty that has a “Da Da Da Da” pattern to it (the emphasis being on the first and third beats of it, as you can see and hear). In my little sweet innocent 3rd grade mind, every time that I heard this song and it got to that point in the chorus, I heard:
Hear comes the sun (mother _ _ _ _ _ _ )
I know, I know!! Awful, but nonetheless true. (As I said, I would love to find the classmate responsible for this.) Every rehearsal. Every performance. Every day in-between. And every time I would hear it on the radio. To this day, I cannot hear it without that memory!
This little bit of personal history came out in a gathering of close friends five or six years ago. Shortly after they had all stopped laughing hysterically, my wife–caring and sensitive woman that she is–got on her smart phone and found the song. She made a ringtone out of it and sent it to all of our close friends that had been there that night. So all of those close friends–caring and sensitive friends that they are–promptly downloaded that ringtone onto their phones for when I call them (a couple of them still have it activated).
And thus ends a sordid memory of my past….