Trying On Furniture

There is something to be said for finding just the right type of furniture.  I’m sure that at one time or another you’ve been in the position of realizing that you have gotten every last gasping breath of life out of that stained, ripped, sagging and in all other ways spent place of relaxation  that used to be called a couch.

When my wife and I first got married, she owned a couch/chair ensemble that had decently tall backs and sides with big pillows that lined the back.  These pillows could be taken off and thrown on the floor which opened up ample space for cuddling on the couch.  We loved to sit on this furniture!  Until the inevitable moment when it decided that it had had enough and wanted to bow out.

It started with the chair.  Not a big deal, but we noticed that when the cushion was removed from the bottom of the chair, a broken spring could be felt, resulting in one of the rear corners creating a sagging feeling for the person sitting in it.  The couch saw this extra attention given to the chair, became jealous and decided it was not about to be out-done by something smaller than itself.  So the couch started getting saggy spots all over its base, with springs either poking through the cloth under the cushions or abandoning their assigned duties and providing absolutely no support whatsoever.  This resulted in sore butts and backs with the occasional realization, as we’re getting up from the couch, that our butts are totally numb.  Consequently, had you peeked through our front windows at the time, you would have seen us attempting to walk around the living room, our faces towards the ceiling with rather grimacing looks etched upon them as our hands massaged precious life back into our posteriors.

You can imagine at this point, then, how thrilled we were when my parents gave us their furniture–this time a couch and loveseat–which they were replacing with something newer.  It wasn’t the most comfortable set of accomadations  to use, but it was a far cry better than what we had at the time.  It didn’t take long to realize just how uncomfortable this furniture was, though.  It didn’t matter which one you sat in–they both felt the same.  Once you sat all the way down, you quickly realized just how far down you were sitting.  Soon after, it would occur to you just how quickly your back was feeling sore because the cushions on the backs of these iconic pieces of furniture had no support to them.  Then, upon realizing that your butt was getting numb (have we been here before?), you wouldn’t be able to just “get up” from where you were sitting.  You had to rock back and forth until sufficient momentum had been built up so that inertia took over and carried  you into the “getting up” position, where upon you planted your feet and rocketed into a standing position, this time with one hand massaging your butt and the other massaging the small of your back (same grimacing look upon your face as before, however).  This, of course, took longer, since only one hand had two cheeks to take care of instead of only one.  But eventually, feeling would return and the grimaced look was replaced with one of intense relief.

We got fed up enough with this set of foreboding furniture that my wife called the trash company and made arrangements to set them out by the road for them to take, even though we had nothing lined up to replace them with.  (We’ve got a summer-room swinging couch that was my grandparent’s.  We put that in the living room, but the cushions feel like you’re sitting on particle board–and the cushions that you lean against feel like you’re leaning against….well, particle board.)  As we were putting these out by the road, a car stopped and the couple inside asked if they could get their truck and take the furniture!  I told them that they could, totally forgetting to warn them of what lay ahead for their anatomy.

We have since sought out a couch/loveseat pair that shows itself very much worthy of being called “comfortable”.  Problem is, we won’t have it for another three weeks.  But this furniture is so promising,  it’ll be worth putting up with the particle-board-cushions until then….